Well it’s been 6 months 2 weeks and a couple of days free of the D *hood voice*. Excuse me if I may seem vulgar or common but I sat in my room the other day just thinking about how this time 6 months ago I was entangled in a two-day escapade doing everything God wasn’t in with a guy who was “just a friend”. Thinking how for three years until about a year ago (when I met a new friend) no matter what life through way I knew making a trip to Queensbridge to see yet another “friend” would fix everything or at least momentarily. You see sex was way more than a physical pleasure of two body parts for me but it was a rush a high a true addiction there was NOTHING sex could not fix. For almost 8 years I have been struggling an on and off addiction with sex. I would be clean for a bit then sure enough the sweet nectar of love juices would call me right back in. Shoot it wasn’t until one day last week when I world seemed as if it was crumbling from bills family & rent issues that I realized sex really isn’t the answer because at that very moment I was tempted to call up an old friend who I’m not even friends with anymore just to get a taste of that high then it hit me I have an even powerful high or meditation called prayer. I can sit talk laugh & cry get up released and still feel a great spiritual high minus the feeling of filthiness hours later and the spiritual tugging or shame and embarrassment. Now don’t get me wrong just like any other real addict of anything shopping, alcohol or narcotics there are times I want to go back and slip up even up until the other day. I believe the biggest part of me not falling back is taking a purity class and beginning to truly realize who and whose I am and that my body is the dwelling place of the holy spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) Not only that but if I was never to ever get married I am already spiritually the bride of Christ and just like if or when God sends me an actual husband I want to be prepared and ready for him! Yes I get discouraged yes it gets lonely shoot yes I even at one point wanted to be like many of my worldly friends and go get a “ little friend” but I remember the scripture : “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: – Phillipians 1:6″ There is no reason I with the help of God can’t stay clean until marriage or the rapture whichever comes first! : )…………………….XoXo A Single Girl!
Amen! God is faithful to keep us from falling.
LOVE this sis!!! Thank you so much for your transparency. If more of us were this honest I think we’d have less addictions and issues!!! Glory to God! Keep it up!!!
Xoxo Jenise La Vonne
Thanks Sis!